Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I Surrender All

Bare with me a little, I am going to get extremely personal, something that God is teaching me and working with me on. And this morning at Coffee Break (Bible Study) I had an "Ah ha" moment!

You know, all of my life I have grown up in the church and have sang familiar songs over and over and over. But this morning, a familiar song hit me in a different way.

I Surrender All
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

But this time, I sang those words with different meanings and certain words seem to pop out to me.

ALL to Jesus I SURRENDER,
ALL to Him I FREELY give.
I will ever love and TRUST Him,
In His presence DAILY live.

As I stood among 50-75 women singing and pouring their heart out in worship, tears welled up in my eyes. I realized in that moment that I had always sung that song, and just sang the words, and went on with my day. But this morning, it really hit me. This song isn't just a pretty chorus or a cleaver verse, but rather a commitment to Jesus of how we are to live our lives.

ALL to Jesus I SURRENDER: You know, I KNOW what we are supposed to do- to give God ALL of ourselves and surrender EVERYTHING over to him. But how many times do we do this, and then take it all right back. God is asking us to SURRENDER ALL. ALL our worries. ALL our stress. ALL our future plans. ALL our relationships. ALL of our families. ALL. Not just some of it. ALL. And what does it mean to fully SURRENDER? Not to just say "Ok God, you are in charge of this situation" but truly believing that GOD IS IN CONTROL. God has everything already figured out. God knows what we are going through. God knows what the outcome will be. But God wants us to SURRENDER and BELIEVE that He is in control. Wow, what a powerful thought...

ALL to Him I FREELY give: The word that stood out to me in this line was FREELY. Do we really FREELY give what is concerning us or troubling us to God, or do we try to do everything in our own power to figure out the situation and take control? I have to admit, I tend to try to do it on my own. I know that I am to give it to God, but my human nature says that I can figure it out on my own. But, time and time again, God reminds me that HE is in control and I am NOT. And thank goodness that is the case!

I will ever love and TRUST Him: Once again here it asks us to love and TRUST God. Not just to love him, but to trust that He really does have our backs. That He really does have our best interest at heart. That He really does want the best for us. And dare I say, to TRUST that His will is the RIGHT WILL even if it doesn't line up with "Our will." Can I get an "AMEN?" This is sometimes hard for me as well because I have hopes, dreams, and a future that I want to plan, and I believe that God does honor our desires, but I have to remember that MY TIMING may not be God's timing. I have seen this over and over in my life, that things didn't work out in MY TIME, but in the end, it was for best, and God had it all under control. So, you would think that I would learn that and not continue to struggle with this...

In His presence, DAILY live: Once again, a word popped out to me, DAILY. I have to admit, in the busy world of a mommy working from home, I don't always get daily refreshing in the word. My kids get up early, and so getting up even earlier than them exhausts me. And you might say, use their nap time. Generally, this is the only chance I have in the day to take a shower without two little monkeys in the shower with me. But, this has to change. It's a no wonder that I struggle with surrendering completely when I don't allow God to refresh and encourage me on a daily basis. We learned this morning in our Beth Moore Bible Study that sometimes God tests us because he wants to teach us a lesson and maybe it is to break a reoccurring cycle. Today I felt like God was saying...."You might be going through your struggles because you aren't fully surrendered and trusting me yet." Ouch. Powerful.

So I guess what I am saying is....never underestimate the power of God to use something as simple as an old worship song to teach you a powerful lesson. I am so weak, but God is strong. I can't figure out the world and all the problems, but God can. And I don't know what is best for me/my life/my family, but God does. Thank you Jesus that I am not in control, because who knows where that would lead us.

Thanks for opening my eyes, Jesus. I will do better, not TRY to do better, but I WILL do better. I surrender ALL.

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